What is hope?
I was conversing with someone about my past and this topic sort of came up. So what is hope? Hunger games movies made it sound like the light at the end of a tunnel, you know, the burst of light that felt like freedom. In the hunger games series, it was mentioned that hope is a very very precious kind of thing, where people should have it, but not too much of it. Thats why their games usually only should have one victor.
My past, is not as vicious as compared to the Hunger games (obviously), because no one actually did die. No one died physically anyways. But hope was a huge part of my life and in the past, it was actually the reason I kept on living.
Well, the conversation started off with me as a helpline (yea, 1-800-help-me), friendly advice to a friend in need, about relationships. He was not into the girl but the girl was really into him, which reminded of... well, me in the past. I told the guy to let her go, because hoping on to hope is... If you have been there, done that, you know the reason why I use the word 'sad' to describe it. If there was just someone like me, a helpline for my him then, then maybe, just maybe, I would not need to hold on to an empty hope for 8 - 10 years.
That friend asked me, as I mentioned my past, "Did it hurt?"
I answered: "Hope, doesn't hurt. Never did, never will. It's the disappointment that hurts".
Hope is something you hold on to that can lift you to the highest point in the skies but it's disappointment can crush you like you wouldn't imagine.
Do you know I painted a beautiful story filled with flawlessness and hope. The story that binds two different souls together with an unspoken touch of passion and romance. A story about how a girl spent half of her age loving a guy with a heart filled with hope, hoping that he look back and return the same feelings. Two completely different person that crossed paths for just once in each lives that twisted into a romance story filled with nothing but hope.
But guess what, the secret's out. It ain't no romance novel, or a story with a fairytale ending. It is a beautiful story, no doubt. But, from the first word of that story to the last punctation mark, it is not flawless. Just one flaw, that entire story became reality. That one flaw, is that... the Hope mentioned in each of the pages that glorious story flows, does not exist.
Confused? You are not the only one. Let me summarise.
I had loved a guy for 8 - 10 years, for these years which felt like minutes to me, I held on to a hope that he would like me back. I held on to that hope for 8 - 10 years. 10 years, seems very long but for him to just turn his head back to see the me that had been standing behind him for what it seems to be forever, it's nothing. But was never any hope to begin with, it was all up in my own head. That 'hope' that I held for them several years, was just me, in my head. Why?
Because I have never once told him how I felt. That was the secret to the all so fabricated to flawlessness stories. They all seemed fantastic and great, and of how powerful a love can be, but nothing happened because the protagonist chickened out.
My story on Wattpad called ' Courage to Love', was basically because i loved without a courage. So like a shadow in complete darkness, without any ounce of light, I am neither here nor there. And it is none other than my own fault. You can click the link below or click on the Wattpad button at the network area.
https://www.wattpad.com/214046531-courage-to-love-only-if-prologue
But it is all now in the past, I am okay being who am I now and satisfied with my life at it's current state.
So, what is hope? Hope is what you want to think it is. People have religions, partially because it gave them hope. Hope can make you believe in anything that you want. Hope is very strong, as supported by president Snow of the Hunger games. Hope can lift every weight off your shoulders, it can also disappoint putting a million times more weight on you.
But you know something, everybody needs to hold on to a hope. They need to, otherwise then they would not exist. In other words, being hopeless is equivalent to giving up on life, Death.
