There was this girl, she was once my friend and this is her story.
This girl. I've known her for... coming 20 years now? The moment she was brought into the world, she knew. She knew that there was this aura about her, the air that surrounds her, brings the people she loves and the people around her, nothing but disappointments. This is the story of her being a difficult child since birth that craves for a love, attention and needs a lot of care and concern. However, not all the time we get what we what, so she ends up broken into tiny little pieces and even though she may be okay now, she will never be fixed or be without a flaw, for the broken edges will never be able to pieced together the same ever.
This friend of mine, have a big family tree, where one side of it sees her as worthless and the other, deems her unlikable and an ill sign, for various reasons which some she may may not have control over. However, under the circumstances that she have been taught well since a young age, she counts her blessing with the little family support and love she have from the few who would pick her side from time to time.
This friend of mine, as she grew primarily, good qualities along with bigger issues and doubts arises. She learns to ignore, to be comfortable with herself, to not be a coward anymore. She learns to be strong. She fell in love, and had fallen hard. Not knowing the depth of the hole she fell in was a long period of 8 years. She cherished the little world she created and lived in, being naive and unconscious of whats happening outside of the world she knew.
This friend of mine, further into secondary stages of her life. She comes face to face with the words 'friendship' and 'betray'. She starts to open her eyes to light-less areas of the heart, shattering the innocent world she created and believed in. Sometimes she said 'yes' to the wrong people, sometimes she tell lies to get noticed other times, she just drowned in a endless eternity waiting to catch a glimpse of a spark or to be awaken by her name being called. That spark or voice she awaited did not come soon enough, for she turned delusional. That spark lit her hopes and closed that sensitive faucet inside of her. That spark was brought to her world thinking it could lit a flame inside of her, but it became a firework. Glistening, sparking and lighting up the entire piece of her heart, which my friend did not know that that was possible.
This friend of mine, entered the tertiary level of her therapy, into a clueless choice. She brought her unresolved issues and conflicts along with her, hoping to take a step at a time. Unfortunately, time waits for no man or woman. There was times she armored up with full gears, and there were others who manage to get her to put down hers. She knows now, people come and go, even her. she knows that if she means something or anything at all to anybody, they will get her back at all costs. She learn to that some people are better off acquaintances than being compared as a friend. She learns that giving up is not an option anymore and that things can turn out better if she tried. She learn that the phases in life are just phases and that there are many ways to get through each phase, the part that holds wonder is the process. She realized that she should always appreciated every thing that occurs in her life; the good, the bad, even the unknown. I do not know if my friend believes in Gods, but she knows that if one door closes, another door or window will open for her.
This friend of mine, she used to walk by with an expression that only the words 'gave up' could describe. But now, when i see her, her world are brightly lit, not the brightest but it is lit. Her face could shine with colors of a rainbow and sunbeams. She can hold her head to her level now and her spine is so much better. The beauty within her that i know of, is finally starting to show physically. She can laugh and joke about herself now and when i talk about her imperfections, she is able to accept. My friend she, she have changed. But everybody does, i'm not surprised. However, she is able to see herself clearer now, able to come to terms with her inner demons. Most importantly, she is finally able to accept herself, flaws and all.
I, as her friend, am proud of her. I've learn a lot, growing up with her and she amazes me sometimes. There are also times where i wishes to be her. Thank you for teaching me things in life that I can never learn on my own. Xoxo
