When you look out the window in the middle of the night, you hoped to see a sky filled with the dreams of people, the lights of the barren streets or the beautifully lit stars that had came out to play.
But those are just similar to the fairy tales your parents tell you when you were a kid.
The skies are nothing more than the atmosphere that we take for granted, adding in the concoctions of pollution, our pollution. Dreams of people are all forced and carved to the harsh reality that they were forced to accept and made to think that it was the only choice. Lights on the streets shine down on the scenes like rape and gang fights, which people watching from the shadows just continue watching or walks away pretending it was nothing out of the ordinary. Stars? They are all hidden behind the clouds being ashamed and disgusted with humanity to come out and play.
Heard of the terms 'id', 'ego' and 'superego'?
I've learn these during my workshop in psychology. These words describes the 3 parts of human personality.
Id, is known as desire, wants, needs and impulses.
Usually the sexual and aggressive bit of our nature, where we developed the moment we are born. This is the part where it makes a man a beast, it knows no discipline, no judgement of value, no good or bad, no morality, the underlying grouping for the 7 sins. All for the sake of pleasure.
Ego, many know this word from the dictionary meaning of self-esteem, but no. It is known as a balance for id and superego.
It installs the reality of laws, memory, judgement, tolerance, reason and common sense which would be develop over the years of growing. Basically, realist.
Superego, is the perfectionist of the team.
Drilled by the teachings of our parents on what is right and what is wrong, values, critic, guilt, how to act in a socially fitting setting,etc. Basically the opposite of id.
To be humane, is to have a equal proportion as stated in the picture but these days, people's id is often bigger than what it is suppose to be.
How is this related to me? Well, other than the fact about staring out the window in the middle of the night, is that I myself seems to also let my unconscious desires get the best of me. I desire, I want. I want many things but most of these many things are things I have no control over.
I lost many things and people throughout the years, I have changed and many things have happened.
Especially recently, I am a mess and things that I was warned at the beginning of the year, I did not believe or listen, and look where's that got me. These phenomenons, I told those that were closest to me, but they still chose to do exactly that. I know all too well, that a scarred heart will never ever be the same, and I still chose to ignore those scars just to result in me stepping on the scars again.
I am a mess, and for people who loves and cherishes me, thank you for being the few most beautiful souls I've ever met. Xoxo
