Hello. Been a bit busy lately but I have been feeling down so I am going to rant here. Please bear with me. :)
What is annoyance?
Annoyance is a feeling I feel that something or someone irritates me to an extent that I reply with actions like rolling my eyes, take deep breaths and when I roll my hands into a fist.
Annoyance is when I feel that I do not have a choice. Like when a person of higher authority or a higher status accusing me, asking me to do something or even just being there. Or times like going to places I do not really have a choice, for example work or school. I know there is always sentences such as 'there is always a choice' and 'you can always choose to not go and not care'. But no matter how 'badass' I try to act or be, I can never be that big of a defiant. Skipping a lesson is already my limit. That shows a lot about how cowardly I am.
Annoyance is when the guy I like does not like me back. I know that I am not suppose to be feeling annoyance but more of disappointment and being upset, but I have my reasons. It is already annoying enough that I actually like someone when I had promised myself not to after that 8 pathetic years. Let alone a guy that I have little to no chance with, which shows my luck in love. Am I never good enough for any guy I like?
Annoyance is when I know there are guys that confessed to me once or more than that, and yet I can do nothing reciprocally. I feel kind of sinful when I rejects, and more guilt than one can imagine. I really want to feel the same way as they do, but I don't. Also, I do not trust people easily especially when I have seen so much betrayal; people give up too easily and move on too fast. But I really appreciate all those that have once told me, "I like you", for it shows the courage and strength that I want to have.
Annoyance is when I know my abilities and strengths will never be enough for anything or anyone.
Annoyance is when I can never be myself in front of anyone and expect to be accepted.
Lastly, annoyance is when I myself will never be able to fully accept myself unless a miracle happens.
But I am satisfied with what I am now.
I think. XD
Buhbye.
