X.x

Sometimes I wonder why am I so different.

But in actual fact, I can't be even more common...

Why do I feel the things I feel?

You are probably wondering what i meant by the sentence above. Well, I have never get why everybody wants to be unique and special. Probably because i have never wanted to be differed from others, i just want to blend in. Yet, i want people to treat me differently, ironic? I guess this is just part of my "Bitchy package" that comes along with my personality.

Me? Whats's that? Can i eat it?

I've been in tears lately, disappointing all those that i loved and loved me back. “原谅我冷漠无情”。
Most of the people that know me feels that my life revolves around 2 words: 'Friends' and 'Relationship',
even those who i thought would see me more than that. It makes me feel that they don't know me at all.
Irritated, for the minor fact that people i love is closer to people that i don't love ._. ( I don't respect prejudice; i do not dislike/hate them, i just don't love them :>)
Annoyed, that i am not as close as i was used to be with the people.
Pissed, my communication with everybody is back to square 1.
Frustrated, I seem to lost every possible feeling that i can feel.
Angry, I can't seem to do anything much about it.
Depressed, my thoughts darkened, i become more negative and pessimist.

I feel powerless, left out and I don't fit in anymore.

My love for them is still here, in my heart, but they don't have place for me any more. I'll always be in the story of their lives and they will be in mine, but i guess, that's it. The end.



I shall confessed something that i did not manage to say to my bbgirl Leaf; My love for the both of  you is endless, sometimes it harder for the person to let go but she must. For a reason, or for no reason. But i don't plan to anytime soon (I'm just selfish like that). But if you have to know, the reason why i stayed in there (not the wa), its because there's one person inside that i do not want to let go yet. i can contact you both through whatsapp so thats not the reason for me to stay.

" Theres the voice that's in the air
Sayin' don't look back no where
Theres a voice that's always there"

Our paths differed from the moment i Retained..

难道爱情可以转交给别人，但命运注定留不住我爱的人。

I know, if there was a most un-successful list, i would probably rank top 10 failures. I considered myself as crap the moment i understood my cousin's perfection. She's so disgustingly perfect that i can't do anything but be anvious of her. I have more than enough reasons to hate/dislike her but i don't, instead i just simply love her. My friends with their usual habits; trying to share their lives with each other, meaning no harm just plain generous but to me, they are showing me that they have something better in their lives now, which is a good thing, but just its better without me in it.

Not being able to share the 'chiong O level' attitude with them, not being to understand the stress of the few months battles till late at night and never be able to understand them at that period when all those that did not leave did.

"Your just somewhere that I've been

And I won't go back again

Your just somewhere that I've been"

Guess it was my accidental mistake to start of with.

 
" And I'll never be quite the same as I was before this,
part of you still remains,
though it's out of focus"

Can I? Can I really?

BABABABA BABANANA~

Did something new at school today, i applied for DPA! at last minute too .__.

POTATOOOO NAAAAA~

CRAZY BLIND <3 p="">

Free hugs!

@Erin: She's really a sweet and caring friend once you get to know her, she's really pretty and i come to like her a lot. Let's hope that this friendship is able to last till the day i smile my last smile. :) I can't affprd to manage another depression. But i can count on her to bring me smiles and laughs. Added on my list of cherishable love.

FRIEND FIVE-EVER MAYBE?

(cuz FOR is just too mainstream)

@Penny: This is another one that i want add to the people I love. ( HAHA We look like wearing the same shirt eh! XD) She is hot, col and spicy~ Haha, i like her style and being around her is joy and   my pleasure. SHe'll probably be the 'cool' role in the group~

 

@Joy: The reason why i gave you that name is probably because i feel that you bring that to the group. Even though you maybe the monotonous guy we know but I know, deep inside, you actually care about us, even in the slightest bit. Though you say you do not trust anyone including us, i beg to differ. Maybe its true but, i'm just glad that you do know that you can trust us just because of some things you don't. That's enough :) ( Haha, I'm really very easy to satisfy huh! XD) I feel that you are a great friend along with the others, and i'm glad i met all of you. I guess you can say i found one more thing that i do not want to leave behind if i was to consider death. :) Thanks. ( HE DON'T WANT TAKE PICTURE WITH ME THATS WHY NO PICTURE HERE! DXDXDXDXDX)

 

 

 

MEOW!

 

This picture is purely for they eyes only and the relieve stress.

Just some words:

I'm just glad that God finally saw my pain and misery with my friends gone so He brought them in my life without taking away the old ones. I'm thankful and i appreciate whatever they have done for me and i hope they, both B3TR4YERS & CRAZYBLIND, could be by my side till the day the sky actually fall and crush me. :D Thank you.