Hey, its been a long time haven't it?
I know that the title of this post is a bit cliché after Katy Perry but it is true in many perspective. Maybe because recently, my life is like walking on a tightrope and with my fear of heights, it is not helping. But literally, there are a series of events happened and happening which linked with the word 'got away'.
Some time ago, I bid farewell to a relative of mine. In different perspective it got me thinking of many things. Things related to farewells, death and life and pain. With all due respect, despite not being very close with that relative, I do feel and she is family as well. But I did not cry at her cremation ceremony as I need to be strong for the people who are closer to her. If I cried, they would feel worse than they did. Honestly, it was hard controlling the tears that was welling and circling in my eyes.
Then there is the other thing. My aunt's dog which I really liked, was ill. Magic is a doggy that grew with us. But recently, he was diagnosed with pleural effusion (fluid in the pleural cavity) and the vet drained out 300 or 3000ml of fluids from his cavity. He is family too and he means a lot, not only to me but to my cousins, aunt and uncle too. He is currently on home care but we are all very worried.
Many would ask "it is just a pet, why so serious?" Why not? Pets are living things like you and me too. Just because there are some people who treats animals like crap, that does not mean everybody should do the same. Animals are like us; they breathe, they eat and they drink. We just so happen to be the species that are more intelligent in other ways, that does not mean they are any worse or should be treated lowly. I feel that that should all the more be the reason that we treat them better.
The word 'humanity' is created using the 'human'. To treat every human, every animal with compassion and kindness and respect. Humanity should be the nature of every human being, and yet facebook, twitter and other networks spreads videos of people killing, torturing and mistreating these creatures and even humans, their own kind.
Seriously people?
These videos are not only not banned or stopped, they went viral. Okay, let the video be viral, it is spreading awareness. But the thing is, even when the people are aware of such ugliness of humanity, did they do anything to prevent or stop it? Majority answer will be no. That's society for you.. The new meaning of the word 'Humanity' is now spiteful, self-centred and war caused by people to push the blame of their fault onto others which may or may not be innocent. Are you satisfied with the world and our nature now? Are you proud of who you are?
Be the change you want to see in the world. Because everything starts from You and I.
The latest news was that Magic died on a Monday afternoon, 28/09/2015. He was really a joy, not only to my aunt and uncle but to the entire family. Our hearts broke when the news came round and the hearts that will leave the biggest crack belongs to his owners. Despite grieving and trying to accept reality, both of them (my aunt and uncle) kept his death to a limited amount of people, excluding my cousins, aunts and I. They were afraid it would affect my attachment and I guess they knew me as a emotional person. When I was notify of the news, I was conflicted to what I feel and what I am suppose to feel. However it came down to 2 emotions; one, I was terribly upset upon Magic's death for I do love him and he is one of a few that makes me feel life is worth living on for, two, I feel disappointed in myself for presenting myself to be a person that people, including family members, cannot count or rely on. Probably to my aunts, I am a emotional and dependent person. I feel ashamed of myself that despite being at the worst of moods, they still need to spare a thought for me and make sure they do not worry or make me depressed.
I am sorry aunts, I will try to be more independent so that you all can rely on me and not worry for me anymore.
"Dear Magic,
It's the 3rd week since you're gone and I have to admit, I miss you loads. However, I can assure you that I am not the only one. I do not have to guess to know that your owners are probably the ones that are missing you most, to the point that I can imagine them praying to heavens calling your name and hoping to see you in their dreams every single night. What I cannot imagine would be the sadness and the pain that they experience everyday, going home to a home that you are not in anymore. Going home to realise that you are no longer there, and yet everything in that home reminds them of your existence and presence. The kitchen where your difficult eating habits are fulfilled, the storeroom that you use as your toilet, the bedroom that you sleeps with them. These aren't even the part where it hurts the most.
What hurts the most would probably be your footsteps you took when following them around, the sound of your squeaky toys when they accidentally sits on or tries to put it away, your favourite pillow in the house, your pictures and their identity of once being your owners. Everything hurts, but that is not why I am writing this letter to you.
I am writing this letter to you to tell you that every single one of us loved you from deep within our hearts and you should know I am typing this letter with both eyes filled with tears ready to flow out but I controlled. All of us misses you and wished you all the best in heaven and in your next life. I remember discussing with Annabel about the details of your passing, which was by the way how I even came to realise that you left.
She said:" Magic was a saint, he is going to VIP doggy heavens. Platinum suite in VIP doggy heavens." If that really exists up there, I hope and sincerely pray that you are there having a blast because, you really deserve it.
You became our family the moment you arrived and you try your best to love us in your own doggy way. One of our aunt is afraid of animals, all animals, and you knew the moment you went close to her to try and get to know her. She shunned. Subsequently whenever she visits, you try your best to stay in a agreeable distance from her. She told us that she was greatly touched, by you. Everybody misses you, especially your dear owners. If you have the time, try to enter their dreams, I am sure it would be very easy. Try to see them, to see if they are okay without you and to tell them, you miss them too. I am sure they will wake up the next day with tears streaming down their faces and yet, they are smiling. Adieu mon beloved Magic, may you forever be loved.
Yours sincerely,
Jarica Lee"
As my prayers goes to a distance,
till all I hear is silence.
Then I will think,
maybe it found you.
-Jarica Mklpfy
